I recently discovered Rookie magazine, and I have enjoyed reading the irreverent pieces done by teenage girls for teenage girls about all the big Questions of Life.
How to look like a rockstar, what cool music to listen to, how to survive a crush (complete with movie references) are all covered in this monthly online magazine.
There is also a celebrity feature called “Ask a Grown Man/Woman”, where the team asks someone famous to answer some of the trickier reader questions.
I have a feeling I might be a good 2 to 3 (okay, more like 5) years out of the target readers age, but I still enjoy browsing through the site.
This week, there’s an article called How to Not Care what Other People Think of You. It’s basically what’s been preached to anybody who took a mainstream Life Orientation class in school: the whole “be yourself” spiel.
What got me about this article was the advice to give a “bitchface” to anyone who tries to judge your choices of self-expression.
Now, while I believed that I knew what a “bitchface” looked like, I was surprised to learn that there was a precise art to it. There is an article, complete with pictures and examples of scenarios wherein it would be appropriate to use such faces, that I thought was so funny. You have to read it for yourself, but here are some of the pictures:
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| “Is Anyone else Hearing This?” |
I actually think I may have used this one a few times. It’s for those times when an idiot is prattling on, and you’re wondering if you’re the only one being subjected to it, or if you’re being punked.
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| “And so I just looked at him” |
This one requires the least effort, but is quite effective. Appear uninterested for long enough, and the problem will go away. Unless you are “one of those god-awful people who look all cheerful all the time, whose faces just naturally fall into a smile of any kind”- then you might have to actually talk to the person who’s disturbing your life. I mean, can you even imagine?
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| “Ugh. Really?” |
This is the face of a girl who is completely disgusted by the stupidity she has just witnessed or heard. Completely. It’s very bold to outrightly show how unimpressed you are with someone, so I don’t think I use my version of this face that often. Well, not in public, anyway!
The article (which is by Tavi Gevinson, by the way) goes on to describe a series of hand gestures that can accompany the facial expressions, in order to further clarify one’s disapproval of the current conversation. There are even props that Tavi says can be used to distract attention from whatever boring, stupid or annoying thing is happening at that moment.
This article really did brighten my day a little: who says I always have to “be an adult” and talk problems over with people? I could just look at you, and you’d die. Problem solved.
*pictures all courtesy of Rookie magazine.
Nkhensani Manabe 